It’s been AWHILE. Lol, so here’s an update. My life was turned upside down when or Second baby girl joined our lives. Not that it was an impossible situation, just I was not prepared for double the.. EVERYTHING.
Here’s what I’ve learned from being a mother of 2 for almost a year.
Yes, your attention for babe no. 1 is no longer at 100% & thats okay! As a matter of fact that’s better than okay. It’s teaching your first born that while you love them unconditionally, they are not in fact the center of the universe. Don’t get me wrong it’s a hard transition at first and we still struggle with this some days, because let’s face it she’s only 2 (lol). However, after babe no. 2 made her graceful appearance my first born has learned how to be (semi) independent. She is less dependent on Mommy and actually is quite helpful with her baby sister.
Aka she gets me diapers and helps pick up sister’s bottles etc.
The next thing I’ve learned is routine is great until you add another child to that routine. Meaning what used to be a perfect routine to get out the door on time now takes 2 maybe 3 times longer than it used to. And I’m not gonna lie, getting ready to go to the store was almost impossible the first couple months. I’d get everything ready both girls dressed and fed (which was a 30-45 minute process due to breastfeeding) all to have to undress my 2 year old and change her diaper. When you thing you’re ready to leave and get loaded up with the diaper bag and you’ve got the baby in her sling (I use the infantino baby carrier) all to realize your 2 year old has taken her shoes off yet again and then child no. 2 takes a massive poo. -sigh- it gets exhausting.
Another point to routine, DO NOT I repeat DO NOT let your routines ruin your day/life. I get it routines can be nice. Eat 7am, play 8-10am, sleep 10-12pm etc.. if you’re running behind or if you just don’t get your baby to sleep exactly at a certain time, life will go on. Routines can be nice but they also cause an extreme amount of anxiety and stress; personally I find it rather exhausting.
Instead use a schedule as a general pattern that can change via your life situation. Learn to adapt to your surroundings and your child will too! Bed times aren’t set in stone! So don’t stress if your 6 month old isn’t sleeping exactly at 7pm every night. I aim to get my little Evie asleep within a 2 hour gap of our “bedtime” because there’s so many factors that go into getting her down. If she’s too wound up from the day I’m not going to stress that she just wants to roll around in the bed with me until she gets sleepy.
It’s okay if your child isn’t potty trained at 2 because your brain doesn’t have the capacity to add “just one more thing” to your day. Especially if she’s having a hard time wanting to potty. My two year old is, let me tell you, incredibly bull headed. She hates, HATES, the potty. Big small real fake she hates it. So I’m not going to stress over the fact that she’s not potty trained yet because some days I remember to potty train all day and then the next day we’re barely home so we can’t and then we break from training for a week 😂. Yes, I’m that mom.
Also, don’t worry about my kid still having a paci/binki/nubnub/etc. I think she is doing really well only using her paci at night and that’s a BIG STEP for her. We keep paci close by for scary situations and I don’t feel guilty for that. So you shouldn’t either if you’re like us! At the same time if you’re not, don’t shame me into thinking I’m stunting my chid. I’m doing what I think is best for her/them. Which leads me to my next point.
't ever, EVER, should you shame another mother for just doing her best. It’s not okay to judge and spit your nonsense and unwelcome bull shiz at us. We have a hard enough time convincing ourselves that we are not bad moms. Because, if you’re anything like me you struggle with your self worth. You do your damnedest to bend over backwards while walking on glass and through fire to make sure your children are happy and healthy. All to just put yourself down for falling short of the goals you have set for yourself.
So I, we, don’t need snarky know it alls telling us our children should be potty trained before 2 or shouldn’t have pacis anymore. Or that, for the love of god, my child needs a effing haircut. So before you go around spewing hateful word vomit, do yourself (and me/us) a favor. Think, evaluate, & remember you don’t know the battle that parent is fighting on the daily so just keep it to yourself.
Stepping off soap box now…<<<<<<
Any who life’s been a little crazy lately, but A LOT of fun since Miss Evelyn joined our family. Freyah loves her little sister, even if she doesn’t love sharing her toys with her 😂. It’s been a pretty amazing journey so far and I honestly can’t believe how far we’ve come in just a short time.
Thanks for reading and as always stay true to yourself. ✌🏻